Been gay

It resonated deeply, but I still didn't know if I should claim it. That helped me get more comfortable with who I was. I wasn't ready to call myself a lesbian yet. LGBTQ history dates back to the first recorded instances of same-sex love, diverse gender identities, and sexualities in ancient civilizations, involving the history of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) peoples and cultures around the world.

I even put socks in my underwear to feel what having a bulge would be like. Still, from then through junior year, I hid behind fake profiles to talk to girls online. I resonate with both non-binary and gender fluid, but I don't wear either one loudly. What survives after many centuries of persecution—resulting in shame, suppression, and secrecy—has only in more recent decades.

That's when a friend introduced me to the term gender fluid. I could accept "bi" easier because of my religious trauma and internalized homophobia. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.

I grew up in a religious Christian household. I went through a phase where I did claim it.

Debunking Common Misconceptions About : Read CNN’s Fast Facts on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer or questioning milestones in the United States, and learn more about their struggle for equal rights

Eventually, I joined a lesbian iMessage group chat. A couple of years later, I learned about the term non-binary, and that hit, too. I started leaning into the lesbian label more. After high school, I considered that maybe I was bi. I had my first crush at the age of five; in 8th grade, I had my first girlfriend.

I wrote a whole explanation on my Instagram Close Friends story, breaking down my pronouns and why I identified as non-binary. I wasn't exposed to queerness, except maybe a scene from The Color Purple where Celie and Shug kissed — and even then, my mom would skip that part, though I'd already seen it once on my own.

With humour and vibrancy, it shows what gay recruits in the armed forces have endured. I remember being a curious kid, looking up "girls kissing girls" on YouTube for reasons I couldn't explain at the time. Today, 96% of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer adults in the United States say they have told someone that they are or might be LGBTQ.

Very telling. It was after someone in a chat asked me if I was a boy or a girl, and I answered, "Both.

But even then, labels never felt right. I genuinely liked them and caught feelings for them. I even explored a bit myself, kissing a couple of girls while playing house, and I was always the boyfriend. But I was still convinced I was straight.

Two words seem to define the history of gay people in the US military: service and secrecy. That might've been my only exposure, and even that wasn't intentional.