I want to have gay sex

When a closeted gay or bisexual man has sex with another man, he views that sex as reflecting his secret identity. Some believe that the fact that the man is having sexual experiences with men indicates the possibility that he is covertly gay and is in need of help to overcome his shame and come out.

In some cases the man in question is very addicted to real or virtual experiences of gay sex.

How to deal with : Okay, so you're pondering having sex with someone of the same gender for the first time

But I believe it is impossible to conclude that a man is or is not gay or bisexual simply based on his acting out sexually with men. Fewer people know that some men and women have same-sex encounters, yet nonetheless perceive themselves as exclusively straight.

When sex addiction therapists see this pattern they often find that there is some history of trauma that is being played out compulsively in the addictive behavior pattern. Sometimes it is in the form of actual sexual encounters in various situations and sometimes it is only in the context of cybersex experiences.

Straight men who are interested in gay sex are not at all uncommon. But this in itself tells us little about the issue of the mans real sexual orientation. In such a case, the man may just be sexually adventurous and interested in any desirable sexual opportunity wherever it presents itself.

It may be that he would be happier having relationships with men, that he is more likely to fall in love with men. Research conducted by okcupid. And these people are not necessarily “ closeted ” gays, lesbians or bisexuals.

You could say that in some situations addiction trumps orientation, and it is only after the person has worked through the unconscious issues driving the addiction and come to some level of sobriety from the drug of his acting out behavior that we can begin to see whether he actually has a gay or bi or straight orientation.

These are situations in which the relationship had previously seemed like a normal heterosexual one. Addictive sexual behaviors often mirror early memories and are highly charged by urges that come from deeply buried experiences. I have heard from any number of women who are understandably shocked and confused to find out that the man they are seeing or married to has been having sexual experiences with other men.

Is he just having an occasional encounter with another man when the opportunity presents itself? Often it is confusing to the man as well who feels he cares for and is genuinely attracted to his female partner. Their report maps out the concentrations of gay curious men across the United States and Canada showing some interesting results.

In most cases, the first question to assess is whether the mans behavior actually is addictive or not. In other words assessment will indicate that the behavior and associated fantasies are excessive and preoccupying. Here are the reasons 'straight' men hook up with guys Jessie Casson/Getty Images Listen, we’ve probably all had at least one sexual experience where we’ve hooked up with a self-identified.

Regardless of what his sexual orientation turns out to be, this man may be like all recovering sex addicts. As sex addiction therapists we are often unable to answer the question of orientation until the addiction has been addressed.

Hence they are powerful and can become a drug. He could be a gay or bisexual man who is a sex addict or he could be a straight man whose acting out behavior scenario is with gay men. This may not be characterized by the sexual preoccupation, the compulsiveness, the furtiveness and the shame that usually characterize sexually addictive behavior.

Also that he feels bad about how much it controls him, that there have been negative consequences in his life or relationships, that it gay small sex had a pattern of escalating over time and that he has been unable to quit.

I have heard from any number of women who are understandably shocked and confused to find out that the man they are seeing or married to has been having sexual experiences with other men. Or he may find that he truly does prefer his relationship with a woman once he has given up his sexual acting out behavior in recovery.